Thursday, January 15, 2009

Child Psychology 101

In the past month we have noticed that Kira is having separation anxiety but in a weird way. She is frantic and in complete panic if someone leaves without giving her a hug or Eskimo kiss (rubbing noses) It has got worse and even if we do give hugs and kisses she freaks out when we drive off and screams. I remember when she initially went through separation anxiety about two years ago and this is way worse. My mother in law was here this last week (she brought down the trundle bed for the kids! That's a whole other post) She noticed that it seemed more panic than anxious. She thought that it might be because of the passing of her Uncle Roc. Hello! I did not think that she would even have any issues with his death. I mean I guess she would but maybe, but I did not know how it would present itself.
So I talked to my friend who is a family and marriage counselor. I asked her what I could do to talk to her and get her to express her feelings. She said the best way to get her to express her feelings is to draw. So I had her draw times when she was sad, happy, mad/grumpy, fun playtime and then I asked if she wanted to draw a picture for Uncle Roc.

This is when she was grumpy because Enzo took her play mirror and she even drew her mirror at the bottom right corner. Notice her hair is frazzled and out to the side

A fun time at the park with her cousin Jayden

This is when she was sad

This is when she was happy as a little baby

This is how she felt about Uncle Roc. She wanted to use the pencil and she started by writing her name at the top. She proceed to talk and express herself as she wrote letters all around her picture of Roc. Luckily I had a pen and wrote down what she said. I never knew she had such deep feelings about all of this. Here is what she said:

You is dead
I love you the most Uncle Roc
I really love you
You make my heart feel kind of happy
You miss me the most
You make me feel happy
I wrote a song for you
This is happy
Looking for you
I am happy I miss you the most
He also has him beard
I have to draw him beard
Uncle Roc just died

Who knew such meaningful thoughts could come from a three and a half year old.
Afterwards I asked how she felt about sharing and she said she was happy and thanked me for letting her draw. I am so thankful that she was able to express her thoughts. Praise the Lord!

No comments: