I ran this morning with my running buddy, Elyse, at the crack of dawn. Much needed! We went to Enzo's physical therapy and they had a great Valentine's day craft with heart shaped sponges and paint. On the way home I was just about to go to Wal Mart and buy some sponges and other crafts for the kids and I refrained!! I again stayed the course and was good. I do not know what it is when I am driving and I feel like I need to kill time, I am finding that is when I go shopping for random things. Maybe I should not leave the house....well that won't last but a day. I did not spend anything today, so it was a good day when it came to nothing. Plus I worked last night and I was really busy and made some decent money.
So I have got to come up with a plan of how to beat the urge of consuming. Obviously there are times to consume but I need to cut myself off of random consuming. Does that make sense. I have always loved the idea of the envelope system but have never stuck with it.
Okay I am convicted on something and I need to share, openly and honestly. As you know I am a food server at a high end restaurant on the weekends. It was just brought to my attention, by my conscience, what I do with my tips. I usually have more credit card tips and will receive a check for those tips and I will have a small percent of cash tips. My reasoning or rationalizing has been sometimes if I have made cash then for some reason I think because Eric does not know how much I have, I will usually use it to buy things for the kids or sewing projects and not tell him.......uh oh! What have I been doing? Arggh! I really am coming to this conclusion as I write and I am not proud of it but I will have to resolve the issue.
First off I am going to have to tell Eric what I have been doing and ask for forgiveness. That sounds like fun, right? If I do not tell him then the behavior will continue and that won't do either of us good. Secondly, I need to tell him to have him keep me accountable. Every Friday I ask him if he got paid and then how much. I do this because I do the budget and go to the bank. I now realize that I need accountability so that I do not spend foolishly when we are trying to save.
Who knew I would learn something from my own post.
Do you ever find you have been doing something without even thinking you are doing it and then one day have an epiphany. You realize you have not been truthful and what do you do to make it right? I would love to hear about it if you want to share. Remember no judgement here. I am no saint and it is not my place to judge.